Sunday, September 13, 2009
School madness
2 weeks down 15 to go. :|
School has been giving me stress since the first day and I'm so scared that by the time we reach mid October, I'm already dead. Seriously and honestly speaking, I have never been this pre-occupied with school in my entire life. This is my first so I'm kind of not used to it. I get surprised whenever instead of doing useless things, I would grab my Anatomy book and read. Or whenever I'm at Joel's, instead of watching TV or playing XBOX, I would take my notebook out from my purse and finish homework. I would study not a week before the quiz nor days before that but I make sure that a day before I would study my ass so freakin hard and wouldn't sleep if I don't feel confident enough about the said test. I feel like I'm getting nerd-er by the minute and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes when I hit the room having my Anatomy book on my hand and pencil on the other, I would say to myself, "Paula is that you?" It's so weird but I think I'm liking it. Tests are never that hard anymore since I read the book ahead of time. I pay attention to that damn parrot which means copying notes like you're in a marathon and listening at the same time. Man... I thought college here is better since teachers don't really care about their students but it made me realize that I would rather have my Professor be so strict and helpful than lenient but not helpful at all. I love Anatomy but when I had Upton as my Prof, it made me hate the subject. She goes so fast like flash and the next thing I know, she's switching slides or on to the next topic. I can't keep up with her, that I'm worried about. I can't even rely to my boyfriend cos you can't talk to him during the first few hours of the day and he zones out during lecture. So I'm left with no one but myself. I need to do almost everything and I feel sad. But it's also my fault though cos I don't oblige him to copy since I'm the one doing it. I'm not asking him to print the lab since I print them out for him out of love. Yes, I am such an obedient student and extremely loving girlfriend.
Now that our Lab/Lecture big test is fast approaching, I can't help but get anxious. She said it will be 10x harder than the quizzes we had and we really have to focus and study more. Knowing Upton, she means what she says and when she says it's hard, it's really HARD. I'm not a smart ass you know and I can't just memorize everything in one sitting. I'm not a visual learner either so it's hard for me to memorize the what the cell tissues look like and everything that goes along with it. It usually takes me time to get a hold of everything. Here I go again pulling myself down. I'm sorry I'm just so stressed right now that I say the most random things ever. I'm scared of our first test in Anatomy and the 5 paged essay in English. A huge bummer for this week. But I know God will never leave my side and He'll be there to help. He's been with me for 2 weeks and thanks to Him I didn't pass out on my 8am class. Though I'm extremely sleepy and about to sleep, God keeps me awake. I'm praying really hard. Sooo hard. :) Aja.
School has been giving me stress since the first day and I'm so scared that by the time we reach mid October, I'm already dead. Seriously and honestly speaking, I have never been this pre-occupied with school in my entire life. This is my first so I'm kind of not used to it. I get surprised whenever instead of doing useless things, I would grab my Anatomy book and read. Or whenever I'm at Joel's, instead of watching TV or playing XBOX, I would take my notebook out from my purse and finish homework. I would study not a week before the quiz nor days before that but I make sure that a day before I would study my ass so freakin hard and wouldn't sleep if I don't feel confident enough about the said test. I feel like I'm getting nerd-er by the minute and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes when I hit the room having my Anatomy book on my hand and pencil on the other, I would say to myself, "Paula is that you?" It's so weird but I think I'm liking it. Tests are never that hard anymore since I read the book ahead of time. I pay attention to that damn parrot which means copying notes like you're in a marathon and listening at the same time. Man... I thought college here is better since teachers don't really care about their students but it made me realize that I would rather have my Professor be so strict and helpful than lenient but not helpful at all. I love Anatomy but when I had Upton as my Prof, it made me hate the subject. She goes so fast like flash and the next thing I know, she's switching slides or on to the next topic. I can't keep up with her, that I'm worried about. I can't even rely to my boyfriend cos you can't talk to him during the first few hours of the day and he zones out during lecture. So I'm left with no one but myself. I need to do almost everything and I feel sad. But it's also my fault though cos I don't oblige him to copy since I'm the one doing it. I'm not asking him to print the lab since I print them out for him out of love. Yes, I am such an obedient student and extremely loving girlfriend.
Now that our Lab/Lecture big test is fast approaching, I can't help but get anxious. She said it will be 10x harder than the quizzes we had and we really have to focus and study more. Knowing Upton, she means what she says and when she says it's hard, it's really HARD. I'm not a smart ass you know and I can't just memorize everything in one sitting. I'm not a visual learner either so it's hard for me to memorize the what the cell tissues look like and everything that goes along with it. It usually takes me time to get a hold of everything. Here I go again pulling myself down. I'm sorry I'm just so stressed right now that I say the most random things ever. I'm scared of our first test in Anatomy and the 5 paged essay in English. A huge bummer for this week. But I know God will never leave my side and He'll be there to help. He's been with me for 2 weeks and thanks to Him I didn't pass out on my 8am class. Though I'm extremely sleepy and about to sleep, God keeps me awake. I'm praying really hard. Sooo hard. :) Aja.
Made love @ 3:29 PM
As what they always say, the cover doesn`t describe the inner content perfectly. I live my life the way i want it to be and as much as possible I don`t want anyone to take control of it. My parents and I usually argue just about everything because I stand by my principles. If I want something to happen, even if my parents won't approve to it, I'd still do it. I'm almost an adult and no one tells me what to do. I want I don`t consider myself "normal" because normal is boring. I go beyond that word, but I am not abnormal either. I'm just different from other people which makes me unique. I wear the fanciest clothes, paint the brightest nail colors, wear the most hideous make up but I don't care.
Contrary to what others are saying not a war freak, I just speak my mind, and for the most part I don`t think before I act. I speak sarcasm and a lot of people get offended by it. I have changed a lot, and I thank America for that! =)