As what they always say, the cover doesn`t describe the inner content perfectly. I live my life the way i want it to be and as much as possible I don`t want anyone to take control of it. My parents and I usually argue just about everything because I stand by my principles. If I want something to happen, even if my parents won't approve to it, I'd still do it. I'm almost an adult and no one tells me what to do. I want I don`t consider myself "normal" because normal is boring. I go beyond that word, but I am not abnormal either. I'm just different from other people which makes me unique. I wear the fanciest clothes, paint the brightest nail colors, wear the most hideous make up but I don't care. Contrary to what others are saying not a war freak, I just speak my mind, and for the most part I don`t think before I act. I speak sarcasm and a lot of people get offended by it. I have changed a lot, and I thank America for that! =)

Janina

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Coding/Design: Yours-Tragically

August 2007
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December 2009

They were right. Maybe I just misunderstood his sweet gestures and whatever that was going on between us that very moment and I completely forgot that this guy right here is one helluva chick boy. Dang it, I almost forgot. I thought I changed. I thought I was smarter, now that I am 18 but yudiputa nga shit, I never actually changed. I`m still the good ol loser when it comes to love and I friggin hate it. I swore to myself that I will never ever let another guy shit on me and make me one of his barbie dolls. But what the fuck happened?!

Did I just allow myself to be his "other girl" and not having the notion about it? Or actually I knew something was not right but I just ignored it because it wasn`t what I want to happen that time? Did I just fool myself and created illusions that what we have is actually something "real"? Was I too quick to judge and gave crazy meanings for the smallest things he did to me? the gentleness he showed me? the likeness or whatever it was he was showing me while we were talking? Was it true or did I just imagined it all? Yudiputa.

I`d like to think that I`m neither crazy not assuming. That I was not alone in feeling the spark when we`re having our mushy conversations. That he meant everything he said. That he really wanted to see me before he actually left for some reasons. That he really woke up hecka early because he saw me online. That he wants to talk to me because he likes me or if it wasn`t like, atleast felt strongly about me.

Fuck, I am lost and I don`t know what to do. I could still talk to him though but I`m sure as fuck that I will just arrive at nothing. BS.