Saturday, March 1, 2008
Love Less.
It's funny how I used to have a lot of "boytoys" that I could play with, but now I am left with nothing. As in they don't come along anymore. Hahaha. Is it because I look bloated than ever? or Karma? Oh well, perhaps it is karma. HAHAHA.
But if you would ask me if do I need one? Well, honestly speaking I don't. With all my college applications, my FAFSA, my Cal grant, the kids to be baby sitted, the application forms that I am working on, the assessment tests, the teachers/profs that I should start talking to, the Orientation in the next few weeks, my schedules and all the hassle a freshmen student experiences I am almost in the heat of it right now. I may be on my early summer but hell, I've been a little bit packed in the last few days. College Frosh is not fun. So tell me, where the hell would I pencil in my "boyfriend" if I had one? I can't leave James and Hannah just to have a freakin dinner with him. I can't pospone the Orientation and Job Interviews in the future just to hang with him and of course I wouldn't sacrfice my future just to be with him.
Get it? Things just don't go together. Maybe by the time that I have already ajusted to my new school and when I know I am on track with everything, then maybe just maybe, I could entertain and look for a New-Fresh Boyfriend. :) But it would still depend on the situation though. HAHAHA. cuz if 1st love comes along before my deadline, then it would really turn my perception upside down.
Aside from my reasons stated above, I am just patiently waiting for someone who would really love me uncondiontally. Actually, rephrase that. I am not "waiting". Whatever happens, happen. I'm not rushing things neither desperate of having a special someone. Sure I miss all the unceasingly I love you's, the warm embraces, the sugary kiss and the I-am-his-girlfriend-back-up-you-bitch kind of thing but whatever. God has other plans for me, I know. I may not be lucky enough to find my Mr. Right right now, in time I know he will give me more than what I expected. God is love, and so am I. Why paulaislove? Simple. Cause I believe in the magic of love. :D
And to those people who are in love right now, seize the moment. :)
Made love @ 11:41 PM
As what they always say, the cover doesn`t describe the inner content perfectly. I live my life the way i want it to be and as much as possible I don`t want anyone to take control of it. My parents and I usually argue just about everything because I stand by my principles. If I want something to happen, even if my parents won't approve to it, I'd still do it. I'm almost an adult and no one tells me what to do. I want I don`t consider myself "normal" because normal is boring. I go beyond that word, but I am not abnormal either. I'm just different from other people which makes me unique. I wear the fanciest clothes, paint the brightest nail colors, wear the most hideous make up but I don't care.
Contrary to what others are saying not a war freak, I just speak my mind, and for the most part I don`t think before I act. I speak sarcasm and a lot of people get offended by it. I have changed a lot, and I thank America for that! =)